Of Anxiety & Depression - an INFJ

Let me start off by saying that depression is very real and is considered a medical diagnosis. Any one that believes truly depressed people are just faking or lazy have no knowledge of the illness. I am 34, an INFJ, finishing up my doctorate in clinical psychology, and have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. I also work a lot with trauma victims and those with childhood abuse. If most INFJ's are like me, they are sensitive to social cues and are able to read people´s emotional states and reactions, hence the "psychic" attributes of the INFJ subtype. INFJ´s also tend to internalize stressors and are very sensitive to criticism and rejection.

Given our "psychic" capabilities, we can often see these things even when people do not verbally express them. Since INFJ´s work very hard to make their environment harmonious, that also means they work very hard to avoid conflict - this can often lead to anxiety and depression. INFJ´s often look at the bigger picture and at the ways things "should be." Having the "judgment" characteristic tends to make INFJ´s not only want the way things "should be," but to also work towards it. This can often cause distress because things hardly ever measure up to the way we want things to be. This of course includes our work lives, social lives, and intimate relationships.

In relationships, INFJ´s can often read their partners´ internal state, respond accordingly, and thus avoid conflict. However, since INFJ´s make up less than 1% of the population, and males account for even less, what are the chances of meeting someone that can read our internal states and respond accordingly? Not only that, since INFJ´s are very sensitive to rejection and have a difficult time opening up to others, they may find it very difficult to express their needs to their partner.

Consequently, some INFJ´s will feel that their partner does not care to the extent that they do and will fail to have their needs met. They will then withdrawal and isolate themselves - this often results in feelings of anxiety and depression (actually
internalized anger often expresses itself in depression). It appears to me that INFJ´s are almost prone to feelings of anxiety and depression. The extent of these symptoms can of course be mediated by the INFJ´s social support system. Do they have caring and understanding parents? Do they have 1 - 2 close friends they can open up to? Do they have a partner that they are able to open themselves up to?

Overall, let´s look at the INFJ characteristics - they often feel the pain and sadness in others; work to try to alleviate that pain to only feel overwhelmed; work to make the world a better, safer place; are sensitive to criticism and rejection; and tend to feel isolated. These are all a recipe for anxiety and depression.

An excerpt from my mailing list. This is what I wanted to say actually but can't convey it perfectly to others on why I was in a foul mood the last 2 days. Internalized anger it is..